You see that word staring at you in the title? Help. Are you someone that is okay asking for help or do you like to try to handle things yourself? I think majority of us probably can say that we prefer to “handle” things on our own, because you feel like adding another factor in the mix complicates things and you do not want your “dirty laundry” aired anywhere. We need to start working to change our mindset on this.
Ask yourself, what scares or bothers you most about asking for help? Is it because you feel like you are failing or maybe that it makes you feel weak? OR maybe by asking for help you have to actually ADMIT and ACCEPT that you need help. These two things right here, admitting and accepting, are probably the things that are the hardest for people to do. I know I did not want to admit that I could no longer face my battle on my own when it came to my health and the heck if I was going to accept that I couldn’t handle it on my own! I am a stubborn person who ALWAYS wants to do things herself and if you know me at all you know this about me. (Safe to say my hubby knows I’m super stubborn…haha!) So when the world was crumbling down around me with my physical health and then my mental and emotional health started to follow suit I knew I could no longer “handle” things on my own. I wasn’t handling anything really I was just pushing it down, avoiding this feelings and not ACCEPTING the reality of the situation. Ever do this? I had lost control and you know what I am okay admitting that now but at the time I couldn’t and did not want to see what was happening. When we lose control of a situation I feel like it sends us into a spiral, and instead of spiraling we need to realize that it is okay to ask for help. Asking for help can be a number of different things depending on what you are dealing with but you need something. So if it is having a person (family member, friend, coworker, etc) there for support and that helps, do it. If that means turning to a professional, then do it. If that means going to a group/support meeting then do it! Don’t keep forcing yourself into this mentality that you HAVE to do it by yourself. You know where this can land yourself if you do this enough in your life? Further down in that dark and lonely rabbit hole and quite honestly we push people away by always trying to handle things ourselves and keeping all our emotions and struggles in. For some it can send them straight toward depression or even anger. You are hurting your health in the long run by bottling these feelings and struggles, because when we don’t deal with things and keep running and avoiding them, they just keep chasing after you. You cannot run forever, and running is exhausting.
I feel as though we forget that we are not and never were alone…we are CHOOSING to do it alone. Did you hear that?? You are CHOOSING to do it alone. This needs to stop! Don’t let the fear of asking for help hold you back from taking that step. Don’t worry about if you feel like others are judging you because you need help. Asking and searching for help are the first steps to achieving healing. Why are they the first steps? Because you admitted and accepted to yourself that it is time to take that step. You are moving FORWARD! (Insert loud stadium cheering right here y’all!) You are no longer drowning yourself by standing in the same quick sand you have been in. You are throwing that rope out there as a lifeline and someone is going to grab hold and help pull you from it. Stop waiting to do this until your head is almost under, throw that rope as soon as you feel like your feet are stuck.
Just remember, they can help start pulling you from whatever it is you are dealing with but in the end YOU are responsible for your healing. We need to remember that they are support and simply a crutch to use to get by, but you will need more. Use that help as a support system to keep you taking steps in the direction of moving forward. Healing is a multiple step process and a life long process really because things are always happening in life and we never know what will be headed toward us from day to day. I also want to take a second to mention here that if that system you are using to move forward is not actually help you move forward, then it is time to find a different system because the only way you should be going is full steam ahead!
I want you to know that asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a person. It makes you BRAVE! We ALL need support in our lives even if we beg to differ at times. People should not have to feel judged for seeking help either. We so are worried about the judgement that we will face that it holds us back and it is time we start moving past that and not worrying an ounce about what others think. Easier said than done maybe, but if you are doing something that in the long term is better for you then why worry about it? Is worry about their judgement worth your health? Uh, NO! We have to remember we all have our own views and opinions but that does not mean that we should judge others for the way they deal with things and how they get help. Instead realize that what helps one person may not be the right path for another. Something I remind myself of daily.
If you are struggling, like a wise woman once said, “it is okay to ask for help, and it is okay that I need help.” Did you hear that? IT IS OKAY. No one is perfect and everyone faces different battles in life. Some may be smaller battles than others but it doesn’t make your battle any less than theirs. I know I felt this way because I always thought there was so many other people with worse situations that I did not need someone to take the time to help me with mine. You are NOT a burden. Let it out so you can move forward.
Break the stigma. Band together. Love one another. Stop the judgement. Ask for help.
XOXO
~Brooke
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